Why Make Things?
How dare you!?
Many, many years ago, I made a self-portrait and posted it to twitter. It wasn’t very good. I was experimenting and trying to get a handle on being a working freelance illustrator. I remember the illustration and the tweet not because they were all that memorable on their own, but because I received a reply from a designer I respected who was in awe that I would have the guts to “put myself out there like that.” I don’t think there was a lot of malice in his response, honestly. It was more of an honest admiration for being personal and unguarded when he didn’t think I needed to.
Aside from being embarrassed at the quality of the work, I hadn’t thought of it as some monumentally honest moment. Not even for a second. Should I have had a moment where I questioned if the world needed or wanted a half-assed self-portrait? Am I arrogant for thinking anyone should care about what I make? Why do we do this at all?
Makers make. Writers write. Chefs cook. Musicians play.
I think about that tweet a lot. The compulsion to make and the audacity of the maker is a big topic and one that I don’t have the bonafides to truly answer, but to keep it simple lets go with this for now: People who create are compelled to do so because it’s in their bones. It’s who they are. To not make stuff when compelled to would be worse than putting something out into the world that the world rejects.
There will be moments where we don’t push send or hit publish. And times that we do that hit with a thud or make no sound at all. (If you make something and no one cares, did it matter at all?) That’s what is a bit dangerous about the whole thing. But to stop making altogether would be turning on ourselves. So we make, despite the risk.
★ Full disclosure!
I’ve pulled this post from deep, deep in the archives. I had 200+ subscribers to Drawing a Blank back then! This week was hard as I had a deadline for picture book finals that I managed to get out the door in the nick of time. But I’m 100% cooked. Next week I’ll be back with a fresh deep dive for paid subscribers and 5 things from the studio for everyone. See you then!
Still Hard
A while back I wrote about the process of finding a literary agent in children’s publishing. Reaching out to your top agents and hoping you get a response can be tough. It’s not just you posting to social media. It’s you trying to get the attention of a gatekeeper1 who can help you with the gates and walls you’ve been trying to scale. (Publishing can feel at times like a series of gnarly gates and spikey walls with a giant green moat surrounding the thing? And piranhas!)
Will my illustration work be good enough? How about this story I’ve revised x 1000 +1? I think that’s funny, but will editor x at giant publisher think so? Will my manuscript be rejected and thrown back over the wall in a burlap sack accompanied by rotting vegetables and fish bones2?
But in the end? Yeah, you know. Makers make. We have to do it... even when the goals get bigger and the risk greater.
Best,
Jacob
The struggle of all of this is one of the reasons I started “Drawing a Blank.” It’s good to know you’re not alone. This s#$t is hard. Finding your community is super helpful. Keep going! Make stuff, learn, get better, play, explore, share it all. With abandon.
These gatekeepers are fulfilling an important role as are the walls and moats and rejection letters. The world might not want every self-portrait, but the work of curation helps the best stuff rise to top. That function is vital. I shared a bit about this here:
A fictionalized account and not entirely accurate.